10.6 The Relationship Between Trauma and Behavior
Ardene Niemer, M.Ed.
Many of our children have experienced trauma, and we may or may not be aware. For them, keeping themselves safe becomes the primary motivator of behavior. Children may appear manipulative or controlling when they may be attempting to just keep themselves safe. Safety is the most important goal of a child experiencing trauma (National Child Traumatic Stress Network, n.d.).
Like the tree and root system we learned earlier in this chapter, we only see the small portion above the surface. Look below the surface of the behavior, and you will see the feelings and emotions driving the behavior. The unwanted or “misbehavior” we experience is often a child’s attempt to solve another problem of which we are unaware.
Even minor stressors can act as triggers that fill children with emotion and can result in misbehavior. When teachers and caregivers do not understand why a child is acting out, they are more likely to focus on “managing” the behavior rather than meeting the child’s needs. This is not an effective response to misbehavior, and may actually lead to the child being more unpredictable or even explosive, making the process of calming down even more difficult.
According to the Mayo Clinic, Stress is an automatic physical, mental and emotional response to challenging events. It’s a normal part of everyone’s life, including the lives of children (LaCore, 2022). To understand unwanted or “misbehavior,” it is important to understand the body’s stress response. Children who have experienced repeated trauma often have overactive alarms. They are powerfully attentive to danger and may label non-threatening things as dangerous. False alarms can happen when children hear, see, smell, or feel something that reminds them of frightening things from the past. These reminders are called triggers.
Some common triggers of unwanted behavior include (Kahn, 2023):
- Changes in the schedule, routine or environment that are unexpected
- The sense a child feels of helplessness or fear
- Experiencing a situation that causes a child to feel threatened or attacked
- Overstimulation from the environment (can be many things including too many children/people in the room, noise, light, or activity).
What Does a Triggered Child Look Like?
It is important to note that stress from trauma can show up in our children in their health (physiologically), through their emotions (emotionally), through their thinking and processing of information (cognitively), or behaviorally. In Chapter 10 we’re focusing on the behavioral aspect.
The National Institutes of Health (Chu et al., 2022) shares that behaviors resulting from a stress response typically fall into one of three categories: flight, fight, or freeze. Let’s take a look at what you might see in a classroom with these three categories:
Flight: Children who experience a flight response want to get away, to “flee” the situation or threat. Their body is telling them to run. The goal is to avoid danger.
Shae, age 4, has experienced trauma in an environment of ongoing domestic violence. When Shae hears raised voices (even in play) he tries to elope, or run from the classroom, or at the very least, leave the area and hide in a perceived “safe” place.
Fight: Children who react to trauma in this way will tend to face the threat head-on. There may be no hesitation, and this reaction may seem instantaneous, but the child is simply in a mindset of defense. As teachers, we may see and label this as aggression. From the child’s view, it is defense.
Aloria is 6. She lives in a neighborhood surrounded by violence. She often hears gunshots and sirens throughout the day and night. In the classroom, Susie grabbed a marker from Aloria that she was using for her drawing. Immediately, Aloria responded with fists up and ready to take Susie on.
Freeze: This final category of “freeze” is just how it sounds. Children experiencing a freeze response are stuck in place, frozen in the moment. This child is unable to physically move or react to the threat (real or perceived.)
Chris was visiting extended family when a tornado alert appeared on the tv screen. Everyone in the home proceeded to the home’s basement for safety, as the storm neared and strengthened. When they emerged from the basement after the storm, the roof and many walls of the home had vanished. Chris’s response now in the classroom is to freeze when loud noises are present.
An important takeaway from this information about trauma is that there is not one single way that a child will react or behave. We cannot assume anything about a child’s behavior without considering trauma—significant traumatic events, or an accumulation of smaller traumatic experiences.
Watch for these types of behaviors (Spokane Regional Health District, n.d.), and ask yourself, “What is the child communicating?”
- nervousness or jumpiness
- showing confusion about what is dangerous or who to go to for safety
- having broad mood swings between quiet or withdrawn and aggressive
- high need for attention, or trouble paying attention
- loss of appetite
- reverting to earlier (younger) behaviors such as bedwetting, wanting to be fed
- reenacting experiences in play
- avoiding friends or activities previously enjoyed
- getting involved in fights, or provoking fights
What Can You Do?
The Pyramid Equity Project shares some insight on the most effective strategies for addressing challenging behavior. Focused on prevention of challenging and unwanted behavior and promotion of appropriate social behaviors, these strategies include environmental changes, providing positive attention and feedback to children, and a focus on teaching social skills and emotional competencies. It is important to remember that even when intervention and teaching practices are in place, some young children may still engage in challenging or unwanted behavior. When responding to these behaviors, always combine intentional teaching and prevention practices with the strategies for specific behaviors. The use of these response strategies is intended to reduce the likelihood of challenging behavior, but will not be effective without careful and intentional attention to teaching social skills and emotional competencies (Strain et al., 2017).
- The teacher, or other adult, must stay calm, regardless of the behaviors demonstrated. An upset adult interacting with a triggered child can worsen the behavior.
- Remember the tree and root system. Try to identify the need below the surface that is influencing the child’s behavior. Shift your focus on meeting the child’s needs rather than on correcting the behavior.
- Try the strategy of belly breathing or blowing bubbles to help the child breathe and become calm.
- Wait until the child is no longer triggered to talk about what happened. While triggered, a child is not able to use the rational part of the brain, making reasoning ineffective.
- When the child is calm, talk about how to recognize triggers and what can be done to increase awareness of emotions to prevent being triggered. Or, talk about what can be done to calm down and manage (or regulate) emotions.
- As difficult as it can be, try to remember that these behaviors are not a personal attack, and likely have little to do with you.
Trauma, as it is fully defined and as it applies to behavior, has historically been absent from teacher training curricula. This left a gap in understanding possible root causes and motivation for behavior. Therefore, teachers had to rely on less effective means of teaching behavioral expectations and coaching children towards wanted behaviors. The absence of teacher training curricula also left teachers less than fully prepared to plan strengths-based, positive strategies and interventions that would support children to learn desired behaviors.
We tend to think of trauma as the result of a frightening and upsetting event. But many children experience trauma through ongoing exposure throughout their early development. This can be ongoing abuse, neglect, homelessness, domestic violence, or violence in their communities. And it’s clear that chronic trauma can cause serious problems with learning and behavior. Trauma is particularly challenging for educators to address because kids often don’t express the distress they’re feeling in a way that’s easily recognizable — and they may mask their pain with behavior that’s aggressive or off-putting. (Miller, 2024, paras. 1-2)
The challenge now is for educators is to always think about effective practices, where the bigger picture includes information on trauma-informed care. Early childhood educators need to learn the signs and symptoms of trauma in children to understand these confusing behaviors. Identification of symptoms of trauma can also help avoid misdiagnosis, as these symptoms can mimic other learning challenges, including ADHD and other behavior disorders (Minahan & Rappaport, 2012).
Some of the barriers to learning that are experienced by children impacted by trauma include trouble forming relationships with teachers and other adults, poor self-regulation skills, negative thinking, hypervigilance, and challenges with executive function (Center on the Developing Child. n.d.).
Children who have been neglected or abused often have many challenges in forming relationships. This can also impact relationships with teachers (Miller, 2024), which in turn poses a barrier in the first step to a successful classroom experience. Children who live with trauma may also have learned to be wary of adults because their experience includes having been ignored or betrayed by those they have depended on. Often, children in trauma do not have the skills or the experience that would support them in asking for help. Many have had little or no adult modeling for identifying and meeting their needs.
Many children who have experienced trauma have not been able to develop secure attachments to the adults in their lives. Children who have never developed that early attachment for trust, who have not learned that they are lovable, and who have not learned that people will take care of them, need extra support to build those special relationships with their teachers and other staff (Sheldon-Dean, 2024).
One of the biggest challenges in the area of behavior and guidance in classrooms and programs is that when kids act out, the response is built on disciplinary systems that involve withdrawing attention and support, rather than addressing their needs and challenges. That type of guidance is teaching children they may be punished for acting out! Educators need to do the opposite and show extra patience for kids who provoke and push away adults who try to help them. Instead of punishing, this is an opportunity to teach a child what to do! Teachers need to work with these children on changing their behavior. When a child is acting up in class, teachers need to recognize the powerful feelings they are expressing, even though they are expressed inappropriately.
Take the opportunity to be strengths-based in your approach. Begin by acknowledging the child’s emotion and try to identify it. This is also where modeling plays a big role. Start by saying, “I can see that you are really angry that Anja took the marker you wanted!” If that statement is not correctly connected to the feelings the child is experiencing, that child is highly likely to correct you. This will provide a positive pathway to teaching desired behavior, rather than jumping to reprimands, a behavior plan, deducting points, or withdrawing privileges or suspending the child (Miller, 2024).
Materials and Classroom Strategies
Visuals and other materials can be used to teach children to label feelings and emotions should be an ongoing part of the curriculum (Head Start ECLKC, 2021b) and be present in a quiet corner area and in accessible parts of the classroom environment. Acknowledging and naming an emotion helps children be more able to express themselves in a more appropriate way. Think about creating a chart using photos of the children in your classroom to depict common feelings, or use the link in the additional websites to explore at the end of this chapter. Think about feelings such as:
boredom
cheerfulness
curiosity
disappointment
excitedness
embarrassment
fearfulness
frustration
happiness
jealousy
loneliness
feeling mad
nervousness
sadness
feeling scared
feeling overwhelmed
Effective communication is the cornerstone of a child’s ability to express themselves in a way that doesn’t push others away. The first step towards achieving this is to show children that you understand them. What better way to do that than by using pictures to help them identify and describe different emotions? Also, consider using these pictures to check in with the child throughout the day and encourage them to use feeling faces to communicate their emotions. By gradually introducing new feeling vocabulary words, starting with a few basic emotions and then moving onto more complex ones, educators can help children develop a deeper understanding of their feelings. Remember to teach a balance of both positive and negative emotions. By doing so, you can help the child achieve emotional maturity and better communicate their needs.
It is critical that we remember and respect that children who have experienced trauma (or are experiencing ongoing trauma) often have a difficult time managing their strong emotions. Typically, as very young children, we learn to calm and soothe ourselves by being calmed and soothed by the adults in their lives. If a child has not had the opportunity to learn to self soothe because of neglect, the lack of a secure attachment system contributes to persistent dysregulation. Emotional dysregulation happens when a child is not able to control or regulate their emotional responses to challenging input (Rouse, 2024). Dysregulation then impacts a child’s ability to learn, to engage with others appropriately, and to be successful in the classroom
In the classroom, teachers need to engage in strategies to support and coach children in ways to calm themselves and manage their emotions. This allows the adults to act as models and to be partners in helping children to learn skills for managing their behavior. Remember that co-regulation (warm and responsive interactions that a child needs to understand, express, and modulate their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors) comes before self-regulation. Early childhood educators can help children learn how to get the control they need to change the output when they are upset. This also includes providing coaching and practice at de-escalating when they feel overwhelmed (Strickland-Cohen et al., 2022).
Another challenge for children living with trauma is the belief that they develop that they are “bad,” and that they are at fault for the trauma that has occurred. This can lead to a pattern of self-doubt and distrust of others.
Children with trauma may also tend to develop the idea that everyone is out to get them. They might hear directions and requests as exaggerated and angry and unfair. This leads the child to act out with a response quickly and in an irritable manner. A mistake that might seem trivial to us becomes exaggerated if their experience has been that minor mistakes result in adult anger or punishment. For these children, it is important to build on small steps towards success in the classroom, and to help them see that in the classroom making a mistake is a necessary part of learning.
As teachers, or ECE professionals, in any role responding to behavior, we must be cautious and always base our observations on facts. It is important to look at the big picture of the situation and not to jump to conclusions (Miller, 2024). This chapter highlighted that trauma symptoms comprise a list of possibilities and can vary between children. If we make assumptions and stray from fact, unintended consequences may occur. Also, for example, it is possible that we as educators could miss a connection between trauma and hyperactivity which could lead to a possible misdiagnosis of ADHD.
One consideration that we cannot skip is the need for the adult (teacher, director, assistant, etc.) to calm themselves first, and then engage in strategies to support children to calm themselves. We cannot be effective if we are not calm and thinking clearly. This is when we model the behavior we want to see in the child and connect to their big feelings. The strategy of belly breathing is one way to begin. As child psychiatrist Dr. Rappaport states, “If you can connect with what they’re trying to tell you, they may settle. It can work even if you just make a guess — you don’t have to be right, they can correct you” (as cited in Miller, 2024, para. 23).
Do you believe that rewards are an effective way to motivate people? While tangible rewards and points-based systems may seem like a good idea, they can have several drawbacks that are often overlooked (Horner & Goodman, 2009). Let’s take a moment and think more deeply about this strategy of tangible rewards. Tangible rewards are stars, stickers, treats, charts, etc. used to track behavior. This system may be used with some specific children, and even included on an IEP (Individualized Education Plan, for children in Special Education ages 3-21 years) or IFSP (Individualized Family Services Plan for Early Intervention, birth-3 years). Think about this type of technique, and ask yourself, “What is the child learning by doing this?”
In a New York Times article in 1993, Alfie Kohn shared some thoughts in an article entitled, “For Best Results, Forget the Bonus”. Those suggestions and thoughts are summarized here:
First, rewards can be seen as a form of punishment. Rather than promoting a genuine interest in a task, rewards can be perceived as manipulative and may not inspire individuals to do their best work (Kohn, 1993).
Second, rewards can damage teamwork and cooperation. To achieve excellence, people need to work together, and rewards can create a competitive environment that can undermine cooperation.
Third, rewards can discourage risk taking and exploration. When people are focused on achieving a reward, they may be less likely to take risks or try new things, which can stifle creativity and innovation.
Fourth, rewards can undermine interest and intrinsic motivation. When people are focused on achieving a reward, they may feel that their work is not freely chosen or directed by them. This can reduce their enjoyment of the task and their desire to pursue it more.
Finally, it is important to encourage children to find intrinsic motivation and rewards in their work, rather than relying on external rewards. By doing so, they will be more likely to develop a genuine interest in learning and will be more likely motivated by their goals and interests, instead of for a reward.
“Do rewards motivate people? Absolutely. They motivate people to get rewards.”
~Alfie Kohn (1993, p. 11)
Reflection
- List strategies to implement in your curriculum to support positive behavior, social, and emotional skills growth.
- Record the changes you can make to your environment to support social and emotional skill development related to behavior.
Attributions
- Figure 10.9: Preschool girl plays alone with train by Allison Shelley for EDUimages is released under CC BY-NC 4.0
Please look for related terms in the Glossary
A child’s ability to understand and manage their behavior.
Collection of processes that encompass attention, working memory, and inhibition.
To teach and to help children learn social skills that will support them to get along with other people
Begins with focus on a child’s (and family’s) positive attributes and seeing possibilities to build upon.