9.1 Families Today
Ardene Niemer, M.Ed.
To understand, respect, and be responsive to the families and children we serve, we must first look at what each of us defines as family. We all probably have an image in our minds of what a family is, but often, we do not stop and think about how the families in our programs may have different characteristics. We need to learn about the diversity in the cultures of our families as well as the diversity in family structure. These perspectives are important considerations for success for the child and family and provide critical information about how to design and deliver program content. It will also guide how we work with families in creating goals and even choosing learning materials.
The foundation for family connections is developed by first creating a shared definition of family. We know that all children are part of a family, but “family” does not fit a single idea or concept of what a family is. Families are made in many ways, in different sizes and compositions. Some examples include single-parent families, two-parent families, and extended families with more than one generation living together. Families are also blended, stepfamilies, biracial/multi-racial families, families from the LGBTQ+ community, straight families, families that have immigrated to the United States, transnational families that live in two countries, and families who migrate to follow work availability. Children may have been born into a family or may become part of a family through foster care, adoption, or kinship arrangements.
Some children in our programs live in more than one home and are members of more than one family. We also need to be aware that not all the families we serve have stable residences. There are many unhoused families with young children in our communities.
Reflection
Take a moment to reflect and describe your family or a family that you know well.
1. Categorize the family experience.
- It was a larger family.
- It was a smaller family.
- It was a medium-sized family.
2. Apply your knowledge.
- What is your concept of small, medium, and large families?
- Do you think there could be a difference between your view of family size and that of your classmates?
- How did you count or include members of your family?
- How do you think your answers and those of your classmates are influenced by race, ethnicity, and culture?
- What do you need to take away from this reflection to implement into your practice with children and families?
Stresses of Family Life
We all face the stresses of daily life, including finding work, paying bills, [pb_glossary id=686]relationships[/pb_glossary] with friends and family, taking care of our health, etc. However, parents with young children face even greater burdens. They are often at the beginning of their careers and make less money in addition to having to pay all the costs related to child-rearing. We know from research and parent reports that there is a lack of affordable, quality childcare and financial subsidies to help with costs (Improving Child Care Access, 2024; Washington Department of Commerce, 2019), leading to more young families living in poverty. Families often need greater access to healthcare for themselves, their children, and often their own parents, which is lacking in many communities. Many families may work in positions where family leave is not available. Other families struggle with the additional responsibilities if their child has special needs or is struggling academically.
Working with therapists and teachers can feel like a second job for many families. Families often report that due to their lower income, little to no paid time off work, and higher costs, they feel like they have no safety net (Lankachandra et al., 2022). One injury, illness, car repair, or other such expense would be devastating. Overall, family life is stressful and leaves many families feeling overwhelmed much of the time. Family stress can also lead to relationship challenges for the adults of the family, which only compounds the stress that the children feel.
Influences on Families
Think back for a moment to what you know and have learned about child development philosophers and theorists. According to Bronfenbrenner, an ecological systems theorist, everything in a child’s environment affects how they grow and develop (as cited in Guy-Evans, 2024). Bronfenbrenner noted the importance of the child’s microsystem (the small, immediate environment in which the child lives) of home and school. The more encouraging and nurturing the relationship between the people in these two places are, the greater the benefit the child will receive from each environment. In turn, this can positively influence how strong and successful the child will likely grow to be.
Relationships between the adults in the family are a significant influence on children, and so are the relationships the family has with the people with whom the child spends time.
Reflection
What does “relationship” mean to you as an early learning professional?
How will you work to build a strong relationship with the children and families you serve?
Racism
In Chapter 5 you learned about diversity, equity, inclusion, and the sense of belonging as it pertains to the field of early learning. Let’s revisit racism and the impact on families, parents, and children. Families of color often struggle to have equitable access to meaningful work, high-quality childcare, and appropriate medical care. Racism can also have an impact on how a parent interacts with their children (Center on the Developing Child, n.d.).
Dealing with racism during daily experiences can place an unfair burden on people of color. Microaggressions can be intentional or unintentional, and delivered as verbal, behavioral or environmental insults. The impact of microaggressions is delivery of a message that is hostile, derogatory in nature, or that embodies negative attitudes that are aimed toward stigmatized or culturally marginalized groups (Sue, 2010). Microaggressions then compound to cause exhaustion and depression. This impacts children’s development (Essien & Wood, 2024). These daily experiences of racism have a cumulative effect and can erode emotional, physical, and even spiritual resources for the parent. Race-related stress may decrease the likelihood that the parent engages in self-care, which may result in reduced emotional availability for the children (American Psychological Association [APA], 2019). This is particularly likely for families whose race-related stress is significant and/or involves traumatic experiences.
In general, stressors vary across families, but some of the more common stressors for families include:
- being unhoused
- the inability to find work
- recovering from the COVID-19 pandemic
- making minimum wage and having financial issues
- working multiple jobs
- conflicts with extended family
- death and/or grief
- physical illness of self or child
- family estrangement
- arguments
- missed commitments
In addition to general stressors, there are other stressors related to race and racism. While racism is a major and consistent and compounding stressor, there are other stressors related to racism. The pressure from all of the general stressors can be overwhelming when you include racism. Some potential reactions to racial stress and trauma to be aware of in your work with children and families include:
- insecure feelings or feelings of shame and lack of confidence
- triggers or reminders of traumatic events
- lack of trust
- difficulty controlling emotions
For many, there is a frantic nature to parenting, with the compounding effect of all the stressors, responsibilities, and demands on parental time. Families can feel overwhelmed and unsupported. Some families face an extraordinary level of parental guilt over not being able to handle all these stressors with ease. Some families struggle with concerns about the judgments of others. This stress can result in parents not taking care of themselves or in parents engaging in unhealthy behaviors as they try to cope with their problems (drinking, recreational drugs, etc.) (Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2020). The result of all these situational factors and systemic factors is that many families are struggling to get by while caring for their children. Did you know that having a positive cultural identity and being involved in advocacy efforts are considered protective factors against racism (APA, 2019)? A protective factor is the presence of something that can help to reduce the effects of the stressors discussed in this section.
Understanding the negative effects of racism on families is part of what we can and should do in responsive with all families to build strong programs. Understanding the presence of stressors and protective factors may help us to help our families deal more effectively with overall stress as well as traumatic events. This is true for working with families as well as working for the health of the whole community.
Attributions
- Figure 9.1: Word Cloud of terms related to Family by Ardene Niemer, for WA Open ProfTech, © SBCTC, CC BY 4.0
Something or someone that reacts quickly and positively to different situations or needs.
Please look for related terms in the Glossary
A group of people living in a common geographical area or space. Community can also be a feeling or set of relationships between people based on common needs.
The connections and interactions between family members, including parents, siblings, grandparents, and other extended family members.
Finding the “right fit” to offer what individual children and families need for successful relationships