9.2 Family Relationships with Programs, Schools, and Teachers
Ardene Niemer, M.Ed.
“It’s our responsibility to design a system that helps all children and families to thrive.”
Ross Hunter, Washington State Department of Children, Youth & Families (2018, para. 3)
When families are actively engaged in their children’s education, it leads to positive outcomes for students (Durisic & Bunijevac, 2017). By strengthening communication between parents, teachers, and students, we can improve academic performance, promote good behavior, and create a welcoming school environment. Educators work together with families to ensure that every child has the support and resources they need to succeed.
A family’s involvement in their child’s school and communication with their educators is crucial to understanding the child’s personality and learning style (Alvin,H2018). Parents can provide invaluable insights to you as the child’s teacher, supporting the teacher to be more effective in their work. Parents are an indispensable asset to the instructional program, and their engagement can make all the difference in their child’s education.
Family Expectations and Culture
All families care about their children and their children’s success in school. However, there are often cultural differences and expectations at play. Families have shared that in many cultures around the world, teachers are held in high regard and respected as experts in their field (Walker, 2019). In some cultures, teachers have a higher status and are believed to always be right in what they say and how they teach. It is critical that we remember that for many families it would be seen as disrespectful to question a teacher or get involved in their classroom teaching in any way. Therefore, remember that for many families, it would be uncommon for the family to visit their children’s schools or talk with or ask questions of their teachers. This is a primary reason that immigrant families often find their new role as the teacher’s “partner” confusing (Breiseth et al., 2015).
The reasons why some families may not engage with a school or program in traditional involvement activities vary. Some families may feel teachers know better than the family about how to educate their children. Culturally defined roles of parenting and teaching may differ for families who were raised in other countries, or in various U.S. communities with more defined educational roles. Still other families may have work or family responsibilities that make engaging with volunteer or other family-teacher conferences difficult or impossible (IRIS Center, n.d.).
The connections and relationships that an ECE professional builds with families will support the children in understanding the importance of rapport, especially when it comes to interactions that could be tense or emotional. An example of a tool that can be used to enhance opportunities to build relationships with teachers is use of the ASQ (Ages and Stages Questionnaire) to discuss child development and developmental milestones (Muthusamy et al., 2022). The way in which an ECE professional might interact with a family member in this shared discussion, carried out in a caring way, is highly important to the work of an ECE professional.
Reflection
Communicating with families and building relationships can be intimidating. What worries do you have about interacting with different families as part of your support of young children?
Many cultures are relationship-oriented, and for them, it is important to take time to develop trust before sharing information or discussing concerns or challenges. Some refugee parents have suggested that the development of informal relationships with their children’s teachers should be in place before the teacher shares any developmental or behavioral challenges that the child is experiencing (Warsi, 2017).
Families have expectations and fears when they send their children to school, which are often influenced by their own educational experiences, cultural expectations, and beliefs. Keep in mind that “parentinvolvement” has been defined largely by dominant culture American-born K-12 educators, administrators, and researchers (Calzada et al., 2015).
In general, this parent involvement includes things like volunteering, communicating with the school, participating in school activities, and helping with homework. The reasons why some families may not engage with a school or program in traditional involvement activities vary (Ðurišic & Bunijevac, 2017). Some families may feel teachers know better than the family about how to educate their children. Culturally defined roles of parenting and teaching may differ for families who were raised in other countries, or in various U.S. communities with more defined educational roles. Still other families may have work or family responsibilities that make engaging with volunteer opportunities or teacher conferences difficult or impossible.
Family fears may also arise when a parent has not had a successful experience in school (Ðurišic & Bunijevac, 2017). This parent may have struggled academically or socially, or may have been bullied, or found eligible for special education services. These parents may believe that their child’s experience will mirror their own and be fearful or hesitant about their child attending school. Parents also fear school violence and may have stress and anxiety about school safety.
Families face stressors that are significant and often systemic in our culture. There are no simple solutions. However, awareness of the challenges and barriers that families face can help educators create effective relationships with parents because they understand the realities of daily life for many families. As educators it is important also to respect that each family has its own culture and that over time, teachers come to understand it is a professional obligation to have respect for all families and realize the rich diversity within those families (NAEYC, n.d.) .
Understanding and respect for families is the foundation on which to build a partnership. This partnership approach will support teachers and programs to individualize their approach for connecting with families, free from ideas of what an “ideal family” should look like. This will provide equitable access and service for all families.
Reflection
If you were asked to create a bumper sticker for a car or a banner for the side of a bus to convey a key concept that has stood out to you so far in your reading of this chapter, what would your message say?
Connecting with Families by Building Relationships: Valuing who families are and what they bring
For teachers, building and maintaining positive relationships with families will free time to focus more on teaching children (American Federation of Teachers [AFT], 2010). When an educator has more positive contact with parents, they learn more about the child’s needs and their home environment. This information can used to enhance strategies to better meet the child’s needs. For the children, seeing positive and supportive relationships between their teacher(s) and family supports their well-being, safety, and social development.
Finally, when parents are involved and have a positive relationship with their child’s teacher, they will tend to the educator in a more positive way, and this improves the teacher’s morale and motivation to be the best teacher for this child.
Why should you connect with families What’s in it for the educator? There are many benefits of positive, healthy connections with families. These include (but are not limited to) increased positive behaviors of the children, improved child health, academic and social skills, increased parenting skills and positive parent-child interactions, and family satisfaction with the early learning program in general (AFT, 2010).
Families come to us and to ECE programs with prior knowledge, and this knowledge should be valued. Luis Moll refers to this as “funds of knowledge.” Moll’s concept of funds of knowledge is based on a simple premise: people are competent and have knowledge, and their life experiences have given them that knowledge (González et al., 2005).
Think of this in terms of a savings account, and each new experience and each new piece of knowledge is a deposit into the account. These funds can remain deposited and grow or be accessed and shared for the benefit of the child and family.
Each family brings something different to the classroom, and understanding that all families contribute in different ways helps us be respectful and responsive in working with families. Not all families can, or prefer to attend parent/teacher conferences, and not all families are able to do nightly homework with children. Having teachers who understand this allows families to contribute in a way that values the knowledge and the capacity they have (Ðurišic & Bunijevac, 2017).
Parent knowledge may look like a parent sharing knowledge and insight about their child with the teacher. It might look like a parent using their skills at home to support the child and family. It might also be a parent who builds strong attitudes in their child about school and learning. It might be a parent who wants to share how to weave, paint, or plant a vegetable garden. We need to respect and value this unique knowledge parents bring in order to holistically know and understand the child and build a reciprocal partnership with the family.
In her work with Moll and Amanti, Norma González (2005) shared that children bring with them the funds of knowledge from their homes and communities that can be used for concept and skill development. There are ten categories of funds of knowledge that teachers should consider in developing classroom practices. With this information, teachers would be less likely to underestimate or constrain what children are learning. Using the funds of knowledge, teachers can focus on supporting students to find meaning connected to their home lives and background, which can be represented in the activities and materials provided in the classroom.
The ten categories of funds of knowledge (González et al., 2005) include:
- home language
- family values and traditions
- caregiving
- friends and family
- family outings
- household chores
- educational activities
- favorite TV shows
- family occupations
- scientific knowledge
There are many examples of building positive relationships between families and ECE professionals in the Head Start model of early learning programs (Head Start ECLKC, n.d.) . Program structure is another area to consider for change to increase family engagement and positive relationships. Examples include home visiting, cooperative designs in programs (i.e. Co-Ops), parenting support groups, etc.
We know from engaging with the content included in this section and this chapter as a whole that teachers have strengths and expectations, and families have strengths and expectations. What if they do not match? For the success and support of the children, it is essential to work to build bridges together so that children are safe and healthy and can learn optimally. Working together with the family, it is our goal to create a safe, rich, and supportive environment for learning.
Strengths-Based Relationships
Approaching our work from a position of strength will help us scaffold learning for children and families by identifying opportunities and possibilities for growth. This is called a strengths-based approach (Dweck, 2016) . With this approach, the educator meets the child and/or family where they are and builds! It is important to focus on what the child can do and the possibilities, and not what they are not yet able to do, or the perceived deficits.
Conversely, a deficit approach begins with identifying “problems, issues, and difficulties.” The deficit approach emphasizes or focuses on the child’s perceived weakness. It also blames the child or attributes the child’s challenges to the so-called failures or bad choices of their family or community. By leading with problems, it is more likely that educators will get stuck and only see the negatives and are likely not being open to the innate potential of the child and family (Kasprisin, 2015).
Think about the following three strategies to build and strengthen your connection for optimal strengths-based relationships:
- Your partnership should be based on reciprocity. The school, family, and community each have overlapping responsibilities for the child’s learning. Each person involved in the partnership needs the help of the others to build a reciprocal relationship that is supported by both formal and informal attitudes and actions. All parties working together with overlapping responsibilities make it more likely that the child will thrive.
Effective partnerships are developed within a democratic process. Recognize the diversity of participants within our classrooms (different races, cultures, interests, and abilities). Then prepare to resolve conflicts using a respectful and positive approach that includes open conversation and compromise and sometimes benefits from mediation and negotiation to reach shared goals. Opportunities for partnership should be plentiful and varied. A mix of possibilities might include the following options.
- Have parents come to school to share interests.
- Invite parents to come to see what children are doing regularly.
- Offer opportunities to volunteer in the classroom.
- Provide information and resources for family support.
- Create a “place at the table” for decision making.
- Attend parenting education events with topics chosen by the parents.
- Become a part of their community or learning about their community.
- Provide strategies and tools that support children to learn at home and in the community.
Remember, to do these things, you will need to know about the families. Ask families if and how they want to be involved. Ask them what a meaningful experience would look like for them and when might be the best time for them to be involved.
Do not make assumptions about how a family could help you, but identify their strengths and offer appropriate opportunities. For example, just because you need a bulletin board completed does not mean a parent would find the volunteer opportunity of cutting out a border meaningful. At the same time, donning gloves and giving cleaning tools to clean an empty room may not be respectful or inclusive to a parent who wants to volunteer in the classroom to spend more time with their child. An inventory of actions and activities that families could choose from is one way to approach the list of tasks that need to be accomplished.
To gather information about families, consider engaging them in a robust interview, an orientation to the program, questionnaires, and surveys. Remember that not all families may feel comfortable reading and writing in English, so be sure to arrange for translators or engage with other strategies based on individual family needs (Breiseth, 2020). Invite families to engage with the program through newsletters, flyers, or an actual invitation from the children in the classroom. Be creative! Engage the children in the process as appropriate, remember the cultural considerations your families identify with while you are building your partnerships and focus on creating positive, strengths-based relationships. Everyone will benefit, but in the end, it is about the benefit for the children.
Building a sense of community goes beyond a simple partnership with families. In a classroom, we are connected by the common interest or purpose of quality education and services for young children. This is our community of learners. To enhance the educational experience of the young children, work to make each child and family feel valued and connected and that they belong.
Reflection
When working with families, be sure to plan ahead. This reflection will help to identify where to start with building relationships with families:
Step One: Prioritize the suggestions from the list above (item 3 shares eight initial strategies/suggestions) and identify your priorities for engaging families in your program or classroom.
Step Two: Add your own ideas to the list to ensure the opportunities are plentiful and varied in the approach, are culturally responsive, and are respectful of the families.
Attributions
- Figure 9.2: image released under the Unsplash License
The connections and interactions between family members, including parents, siblings, grandparents, and other extended family members.
Please look for related terms in the Glossary
Events or conditions in an individual's life that cause stress. These can be internal or external factors
Obstacles or obstructions to learning, including physical, technological, systemic, financial, or related to mental health and attitude
A partnership is a reciprocal, respectful, and ongoing relationship between a program and families or community.
Finding the “right fit” to offer what individual children and families need for successful relationships
Something or someone that reacts quickly and positively to different situations or needs.
Shared, felt, or shown by both sides, in a balance of give and take.
Begins with focus on a child’s (and family’s) positive attributes and seeing possibilities to build upon.
A group of people living in a common geographical area or space. Community can also be a feeling or set of relationships between people based on common needs.
The ability to learn from and relate respectfully with people of your own culture as well as those from other cultures.