“You Need to Study to be Someone!”

Personal Statement

My name is Cristiane Leal, 31, I have a Law Degree back in Brazil and I have lived in the United States for almost 6 years, away from family. I am immensely grateful for the experiences that my English literacy gave me. In this essay I explore how my parents’ influence encouraged me to seek knowledge and the countless questions from a sentence I grew up hearing “You need to study to be someone!”. However, I search the impact of this advice had on my trajectory of not feeling like someone and succeeding in life.

“You Need to Study to be Someone!”

I can’t remember really well how and when I started reading. What I remember is that I loved that feeling of being independent. I could read the small words, names and signs around me. It was fascinating. I believe this is how all children feel when they start to read by themselves — empowered. Before the age of 7, I could read medium paragraphs. I know that because I remember clearly that I was the reader on my preschool graduation. My mom was so proud of me. As was I. Many peers couldn’t read at that age.

I grew up in Brazil, and my first language, Portuguese, came naturally. Learning English was a different story. More challenging. I’ve been learning the verb “to be” since 7th grade, in middle school. And it is weird how I still make mistakes with it. What I learned was just that: the simple present of the verb “to be” and the pronouns — I am, You are, She is, He is, It is, We are, They are — You couldn’t expect to truly learn a second language back in that time if you went to a public school. To learn English you needed to take classes in a private language school, and they were never affordable for most of people. “English is for rich people” I used to hear. Now, my heart is happy because that reality has been changing for me.

When I was 23, I started taking English classes in a private English school after my best friend insisted many times. I had to convince my parents to pay the English classes, and I am so thankful for them for putting in so much effort to pay for classes. At the end of the semester I was never sure if we would be able to keeping paying for classes. But mom never missed the payments. My parents always encouraged my siblings and me to study. “You need to study to be someone!”

It was odd that expression growing up. I was someone! I still am!

My mom couldn’t finish the middle school. She completed the 4th grade. That’s it! She was someone to me. Not only to me. She was the one that quit school to take care of her parents. Both passed away when she was between 15 – 16 years. Cancer.

How bizarre. In my mind I can see now countless questions and thoughts. – Why this expression? It does not make any sense! Is my mom someone? Does she feel like someone? Would she had done anything differently? How important really is “being someone”? What about you, Dad? Are you more someone than Mom, I mean you finished middle school? – I was not expecting all these questions right now!

I guess the correct expression would be “You need to study to be successful”. It would have made a difference. I guess a young child cannot understand what “successful” means. Neither can a grownup. I am still in the process of understanding what that means. One of these days I had an anxious and depressed moment. I felt so bad thinking that I was a big failure. After observing my thoughts and feelings, I felt even worse! What a fool! How could I say that? How could I think that? The success is relative. It means different things for different people. It was terrible forgetting for a moment how privileged I have been within my underprivileged circumstances. Incredible where our minds can take us. The same for the studies.

My parents were right! Even if they used an odd expression.

Not having studied brought my mother and my grandparents closer. In contrast having studied and learned English physically distanced me from my mother. Somehow her world was reduced by my daily absence. On the other hand, my world was expanded in indiscreet ways. Everything has at least two perspectives. We can see the same thing from different viewpoints, in bad or positive light.

My English teacher, Camila, had lived abroad and encouraged me to do the same student exchange she did. I thought “why not?” It is incredible how people can improve your life when you are open to the new. Everyone plays an important role in other people’s lives, even when they teach you how not to be. One thing brings other things. A succession of events, learning, choices that take you somewhere. That make you someone in the world where no one else is like you and me.

According to the dictionary “literacy” is not only the ability to read and write, but also the competence or knowledge in a specified area. What they didn’t mention is the process involved to get there. In my opinion the route is part of the literacy as well. Everything is literacy. All the time we are learning or improving something. The only person that has nothing else to learn is the one that has already left the material world. For the rest of us – ahead!