Understanding who we are and the history that has shaped us is crucial for identifying our life goals and aspirations. Recognizing our failures and the areas where we need improvement helps us avoid repeating past mistakes. In this essay, I will speak about my early life experiences along with my emigration and adaptation to a new culture and society. I will reflect on how these life changes have influenced my personal development and professional aspirations. The purpose of my writing is to highlight a part of my journey and demonstrate that, despite the challenges, life is beautiful and worth every step. Reflecting on my past and confronting the discomfort associated with it will help me heal and find peace with my memories. It involves organizing my experiences and untangling the complexities of the journey called life. There is only one person who can solve all our problems and answer all our questions, and that person is us. We may encounter people along the way who contribute to finding clarity, but ultimately, it is up to us to choose those individuals.

I was born on July 5th, a hot summer day. It is hard to imagine how my mom made it to the hospital in our tiny town, where cars were rare and the only bus left at 7 AM. Summers were filled with field work, leaving little room for spontaneity, so I was born on the only day my family could be available: a Sunday. For years, my birthdays waited until field work eased, then we would celebrate. Despite the challenges, I often feel fortunate to have been born in Feștelița, a small Moldovan town known only to locals. Nestled in the southeast corner of Moldova, it was once labeled as the Sunshine Country by Soviet authorities. Summers here were abundant in sunlight, making the sweetest fruits and finest wines. Yet, there are times when the shadow of shame and anger from my childhood casts a shadow over my cherished memories. Raised by emotionally distant parents who lacked the tools to manage their emotions and frustrations, I saw unhealthy dynamics between them. Now, as an adult, I grapple with the repercussions — low self-esteem and a disorganized attachment style in my relationships, “The lack of emotional support in the family can also have a negative influence. Adequate emotional support is important for the healthy development of individuals.” (Nur Faizah, S. N. 2023, pag. 11). Being a parent myself now, I must set a better example for my daughters. I am grateful for being mindful of my upbringing and for living in a society that supports and encourages people to seek therapy and work on themselves. It has been 7 years since I left my home country without revisiting. My entire being longs for the home where I grew up — the streets, the heat of summers, the freezing temperatures of winter. What I miss the most are the unbeatable tastes of the fruits and vegetables we harvested. Nowadays, every time I come across a fruit tree, I pick the fruit, close my eyes, and transport myself to those hot summers of my childhood. I recall the home that sheltered me, the streets that shaped my early years, and the community that guided me toward a life full of possibilities.

In the course of our lives, we come across numerous opportunities. The decisions we make, the paths we choose—these are within our control. Sometimes, these choices bring us joy and propel us to a better place in our journey. Other times, they leave us feeling broken and disempowered, yet they also offer us the opportunity to try again and shape a new path. Our parents, siblings, and the society in which we are raised are not within our power to choose. As a white, heterosexual woman with a slim body and physical ability, I often receive comments about how lucky I am to possess these traits. “The parts of our identity that do capture our attention are those that other people notice and that reflect back to us” (Tatum, B.D. 2000, para. 9). I try not to forget to be thankful for them. However, being on the verge of poverty and renting a place in a society where every day I have to step out of my comfort zone, as an English learner with limited rights despite being documented, places me in a very vulnerable position. It is a constant battle between my mind and my soul. Understanding and speaking three languages makes me rich. Embracing multiple cultures adds to my wealth. While my ethnicity is Romanian, I strongly identify with Slavic culture. My gastronomic tastes and preferences are rooted in Balkan cuisine. Growing up poor provides me with a foundation to appreciate what I have today and offers invaluable life experiences that continue to shape me. Graduating from the ECE program at Lake Washington would give me security and confidence in pursuing my professional dream. In American society, being a good professional is not enough. Validating it through a course certificate is what makes you credible. Firstly, I want to prove it to myself. I want to understand who I am and be certain of it. I know that I am capable of overcoming challenges, and I will not let prejudices stand in my way.

As I continue to navigate the complexities of my life and career, I am grateful for my past experiences and use them as a source of strength and inspiration. Despite the emotional struggles brought by the difficult adaptation to a new society, I have cultivated resilience and a deeper appreciation for life. Reflecting on the impact of my formative years, brings to light the importance of self awareness in pursuing our personal growth. The process of understanding our past and using that knowledge to set and achieve our goals demonstrates our ability to grow and practice self-determination. I remain committed to exploring my iner self and being authentic in all that I do. This commitment is essential not only for my personal fulfillment but also for making meaningful contributions to the world around me. I will continue my work into finding joy and fulfillment in both my personal and professional life, to understand who I am, and to appreciate the journey that has brought me to where I am today.

References

Faizah, S. N. (2023, June 23). The role of the family in forming children’s social identity family sociological perspective. https://doi.org/10.31219/osf.io/2vpgx

Tatum, B. D. (2000). The complexity of identity: “Who am I?.” In Adams, M., Blumenfeld, W. J., Hackman, H. W., Zuniga, X., Peters, M. L. (Eds.), Readings for diversity and social justice: An anthology on racism, sexism, anti-semitism, heterosexism, classism and ableism (pp. 9-14). New York: Routledge. https://lwtech.instructure.com/courses/2500171/assignments/33821020