“No man is an island.” This aphorism belonging to the author John Donne emphasizes that each person is a part of a society and depends on others. This is true not only in terms of unity or collective responsibility but also in how society influences individuals. Rights and obligations, privileges or disadvantages, habits, views, beliefs, and even opportunities to get an education, a job, or achieve a worthy position in society all depend on who you are and which society you are in. Many people around me have started a new life in a new country, and I’m no exception. Having lived in the U.S. for the last five years and comparing ‘before and after,’ I can say that different societies place you in different frameworks and offer you different opportunities.

I was born in the north of the USSR, in a small town with a harsh climate. This place offered the opportunity to witness unique natural phenomena, such as the Northern Lights, Polar Day, and Polar Night. However, there were not enough sunny days, even in summer. Because of this, my parents often brought me to my grandmother, who lived in a city with better weather. I stayed there for about three of four months every summer. My parents had to work very hard; during my early childhood, my dad worked as a sailor. He was away from home for six to nine months every year. Although I did not see him for long periods, I was very proud of him because he traveled abroad, which was almost impossible for people living behind the Iron Curtain. Shoviana Nur Faizah (2023) states, “Values, norms, beliefs, and interactions within the family environment can shape a child’s social identity” (The Concept of Child’s Social Identity section). At the same time, the regime established in the country clearly influenced our family’s values. In an environment that fostered collectivism, it was easy for my parents to instill qualities in me such as diligence, a sense of equality, a willingness to help and sacrifice for others, and the ability to work as part of a team to achieve common goals. However, there was little emphasis on personal growth and development, self-expression, and healthy competition. My childhood had a significant impact on shaping my personality. My upbringing instilled important qualities and principles in me. However, living at a distance from my parents, especially my father, damaged my close attachment to them. As a result, we did not have deep and trusting conversations. Only when I was older did I start to learn how to express my feelings, and not be shy to ask questions or seek advice.

In the process of growing up, my social identity has changed. My age, family status, education, personal beliefs, and immigration status have transformed over time. The only things that have remained unchanged are my gender and skin color. From a girl who lived in her home country, in her own home with her parents, fluent in her native language, and with good physical and mental health, I have become a young migrant woman with a poor command of a foreign language, living in rented housing, and experienced depression caused by moving and the birth of my second child. Some of these aspects will definitely change in the future, for example, my age. Other aspects might change, such as my language proficiency or homeownership status. However, some aspects will remain unchanged as long as I am within a specific society. I will forever remain a person who moved to this country, even if I obtain citizenship. This entails a number of consequences, such as never being able to speak English at the same level as native speakers, simply because the “window of opportunity” has already closed (Wixson, 2021, Windows of Opportunity section). This imposes certain limitations on me within the framework of my social status. Another aspect that will not change is that I am a white woman. Because of this, I gain some advantages and face some disadvantages. Answering the question “Who am I?”, Tatum (2000) said that “the answer depends in large part on who the world around me says I am” (para.1). In the society I am in now, these two aspects play a significant role. Realizing this is something new for me, as five years ago, living in another country, I did not face the idea that I might have some invisible privileges simply because of my white skin.

Overall, having lived in a new country for the past few years, I believed that the door to achieving some social significance is still open for me. In any difficult situation, there is always an open door. The ability to find this opportunity and adapt to changes is key to improving one’s position in a new society. My status as an immigrant can turn into an unexpected advantage for me. Unlike many people who go with the flow of their lives, the events in my life have prompted me to reassess my values and take actions that change me as a person and help me achieve my goals. This has definitely given me new directions for growth and development. The ability to use these opportunities to one’s advantage is an important quality not only for an immigrant but for anyone.

References

Faizah, S. N. (2023, June 23). The role of the family in forming children’s social identity family

sociological perspective.  https://doi.org/10.31219/osf.io/2vpgx

Tatum, B. D. (2000). The complexity of identity: “Who am I?.” In Adams, M., Blumenfeld, W. J., Hackman, H. W., Zuniga, X., Peters, M. L. (Eds.), Readings for diversity and social justice: An anthology on racism, sexism, anti-semitism, heterosexism, classism and ableism (pp. 9-14). New York: Routledge.

Wixson, J. (2021). Chapter 4: Brain Development. In ECE 200: Introduction to Early Childhood Education (1st ed.). https://ncmc.pubpub.org/pub/ece200chapter4