From a Shanghai Girl to a Seattle Mummy

When I was young, I stood in front of the windowsill of my home and watched the light rail passing. I thought about whether the scene in front of me would be the same after ten years. Where is my future “ husband”, when will I get marriage ? Do I still have to squeeze into the subway every day when I go to work? Fortunately, my life is not static. I am now having another life in another country with different social and family identities. My childhood growth experience has shaped my optimistic and positive personality, so even if my social identity changes and my living environment is different, I still work hard to move forward towards the goals I have set.

My childhood has influenced how I am today. My name is Shuoyi, Liang, I was raised in Shanghai, China. My mum gave me the name “ Shuo”, means rich harvest, in studying, job, family. My dad gave name “Yi”, which same means anecdote, hope me become a special good people. My parents all gave me a hopeful name before I was born. Each time I introduced my name to new teachers, they all said it’s a unique name. No one’s name will be the same as mine. So, I’m so proud of my name, and my knowledgeable parents. Expect sending me to school, my parents also asked about my interests, they sent me to learn ballet and playing piano. These classes occupied some of my play time each week. But it also gives me a certain sense of accomplishment. My parents like travelling, they always took me to visit some different cities of China during summer vacation. All my mum’s relatives all lived in another city: Nanjing. I did love to visit there, it’s another hometown.  I can play with my cousins. For me, I am the only kid of my parents, so my cousins are just like my sisters and brothers. BTW, my dad’s most relatives all lived in Guangzhou; it is a little far from Shanghai. My childhood memories were happy,  but because most of the relatives lived in different cities. For some important festival, I always remember mom was always busy making phone calls to greet all the family members. “The infantile and adolescent phases play a crucial role in the formation and consolidation of identity” (Mann, 2016, p. 212). Now I am married and moved to the USA for six years, and most of the important festivals I will call or at least send messages to greet my family. Wherever how far I’m with them, they are always in my mind. I’m not been lonely since my childhood. My life now has been focused on my family, job and studying. Sometimes I felt very tired, I tried my best to balance those important parts. Try not to take jobs from company, try to spend time with family first then use my rest time to finish my assignments. There’s will be one more year before I can graduate with my AAS degree. I plan to invite my parents to join my graduation ceremony.  I’m looking forward to a better future.

My social identity affects how others in American society treat me. “How one’s racial identity is experienced will be mediated by other dimensions of oneself: male or female; young or old; wealthy, middle-class, or poor; gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or heterosexual; able-bodied or with disabilities; Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, or atheist” (Tatum, 1997, p. 33). As I think of myself as a middle-aged Asian non-native English-speaking woman in a middle-class family. Me and my family owns property, both of us are citizens, have a stable job, with average body size and have post-secondary education. I still find myself in a weak position concerning power or privilege in this society. I am even a lively and confident person who dares to face any work challenges. However, due to language weakness, there will be some obstacles in communicating with others. When I am not sure what they talk about, I will ask them to repeat again, or I just avoid joining the talking. I changed a company since last year, and I have a lot of new colleagues all from India. Maybe we are all Asian, I feel our relationship are closer than before I with some American colleagues. But I’m surprise Indian people all speak very native English. They said they learned English as their second language at school. So, for me, learning better English is my important goal. The average income of an early care educator is not very high. Yesterday I saw a car wash hiring advertisement: $20 per hour with a lot of company benefit . I only get a little bit higher than a job for washing car. I need to take care of 10 kids by myself. Is washing a car easier?  I have my associate degree in my country, and I have transferred the scores to here, but the major does not match with my current job. That’s why I’m working on getting my Early Care Education associate degree right now. I do like my job to stay with kids every day, but I am looking to find better pay. All my friends and neighbors all Chinese. Most of them prefer to stay here than back in our country. But due to my weak position concerning power or privilege in this society, I really miss my life in my country.

I sometimes thought about moving back to my home country. I missed my family and friends there, the environment, a lot of entertainment and the yummy food in my hometown. But I still choose to live here because I don’t deliberately care about my social identity. I pay more attention to my family identity. My husband has better job treatment here, and my children have a better learning atmosphere here. My life was not only changed from Shanghai to Seattle, but also from a daughter of my parents to a mother of a child. Since I have chosen to give my children a better growing environment, I must make some sacrifices. I know where my social identity is, what my strengths and weaknesses are, and I can use this to change myself to adapt to the social identity here.

References

Mann, M. A. (2006). The formation and development of individual and ethnic identity: Insights from psychiatry and psychoanalytic theory. American Journal of Psychoanalysis, 66(3), 211-24. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s11231-006-9018-2

Tatum, B. D. (1997). Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria? Revised edition. Basic Books. https://sbctc-lwtech.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/permalink/01STATEWA_LWTC/117qsle/cdi_proquest_ebookcentralchapters_5368838_10_96