Different Stages Shaped Different Social Identity

Everyone has different social identities in different periods. When we talk about our background and childhood experiences, our stories would refer to our personality and how everyone else sees us. When we grow up, as an adult in society, we change for another identity. They range from the person’s character to culture, race, ethnicity, and religion. What kind of identity I belong to depends on what I was in the societal environment. When I lived with my family, most time, I thought of my self-concept. I was concerned about how my family treated me and understood me. How can I make contributions to my family is my goal.  However, since I married and moved to the U.S., I realized my identity has changed in American society. I am no longer to represent myself.  Instead, I was to be a group. People from all over the world knew me of my culture, race, and religion, even with some stereotypes. Social identity has become a huge part of my life in American society. Therefore, individuals’ identity is not set in stone, it is changed over time and reshaped again by different societal environments.

My family concept impacts my personality. I was born and raised in a small town, located in the south of China, where is patriarchal family deep and rooted for thousands of years in history. It is very common for traditional families to rather like to have boys than girls. Under the pressure from my grandmother to have a grandson, my mother constantly was pregnant each year. After 3 years, she had 3 girls, the fourth year she got a boy, that’s my young brother, until the fifth year, my young sister was born she stopped pregnant. I am the third girl among my siblings. At the beginning of the 1990s, with the one-child policy, many people could only have one child, otherwise, a family who had over one child would be penalized. There was no doubt, my parents had to pay those extra kid’s penalties. It was a lot of money for a not-rich family. In addition, they also need money to raise their kids. I clearly remember that one day my grandmother talked with my parents and how to send away one girl to a family who wanted to adopt. As a 5-year-old girl, I knew they were talking about me, and I can tell my parents were very hard to decide. I came to say, “Mom, if you send me away, our family can get a better life than before, I’d love to go. When I grew up, I remembered the way to our home,  I know your name, and I will find you and reunion”. Maybe my words moved my parents, but after that time, my parents never talked about the adoption. “The infantile and adolescent phases play a crucial role in the formation and consolidation of identity” (Mann, 2016, p. 212). That’s true. In my infantile, I was considered an extra one by my family,  I tried my best to prove to my parents that a girl is the same as a boy. In my childhood, I didn’t spend my weekends playing with my friends or participating in any activities with them. That’s why I am introverted. I studied hard, I was the only one who could go to college in my family. I helped my mother do all the chores. I even learned how to sew the clothes of Barbie dolls, so that I could help my mother sew to earn more money in every summer holiday break. I am like a boy who has lots of responsibilities for his family, sometimes I even forget my gender. When I grew up, I was the breadwinner in my family. I was raised as an independent personality. When I meet some things, no matter how difficult it is, I believe I can complete them well.

However, There were always many changes in my life. when I made a decision, anything around me also changed. “Integrating one’s past, present, and future into a task that begins in adolescence and continues for a lifetime” (Tatum, 1997, p. 35). I think my lifetime goal never changed begins my adolescence. Despite the past, and present, even in the future, I am very confident in my ability when I live in a new environment. However,  When I  immigrated to the U.S., something seemed lost when I lived in American society. I could not according to my previous character identify what my life was. Most of the time, because of my skin color, I often represent a culture, a race, and an ethnicity to interpret my experience. My identity changed for a race social identity. As a new immigrant, living in a country entirely different from the past.  white people seem to have more opportunities, and Asian people’s background seems to represent a laggard. My identity always connects with skin color stereotyped cognition, regardless of what experience and education I have before. Now my social identity was a non-native English-speaking Asian woman. Even though I worked in some areas and have broad experience in my country; however, when applied my resume to lots of firms on websites in America, it was like a stone sinking into the sea, and I never got a reply. Either because my resume is non-native English, or I do not have some education certificates from America. I didn’t even get any interview chances. I can’t get a fair chance in my career. Some firms’ requirements might require the applicant to have a permanent reside would advantage for getting the work. However, my residential status didn’t bring any privilege. Most firms didn’t admit my certificates from China because of some stereotypes. My personal experience became not important. As a result, I was treated as weaker and didn’t have any technical skills in American society. As I experienced countless failures seeking a job,  gradually, I became a homemaker. Every day, when I open my eyes, my work is cooking, doing all the chores, take care of my child. I am almost divided by American society. After I reflected on my social identity, I decided to go to school again, I think knowledge can give me more power so that I can get the certificate of admission. I couldn’t change my racial identity, but I hope one day I can change how others treat me with my ability in American society. Fortunately, it was a diverse society, whatever your age, your gender, and your societal level, you can get what you want if you never gave up studying. I hope one day I can stand out when I stand by the crowd despite whatever my social identity is.

Social identity is not static. Every individual might have multiple Social identities, society determines what kinds of social identity we would show to others. I think when we create a new experience, we will also create a new social identity. Sometimes social identity is invisible when we live in our nationality environment, but when we live abroad, our social identity becomes more obvious. It would change with the new place or country you are in. Thus, understanding what social identity you have shaped in different places is most important, it helps individuals fit with society and develop better. Today in this diverse world, no matter what our social identity changed for, we should respect ourselves and others.

Reference

Mann, M. A. (2006). The formation and development of individual and ethnic identity: Insights from psychiatry and psychoanalytic theory. American Journal of Psychoanalysis, 66(3), 211-24. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s11231-006-9018-2

Tatum, B. D. (1997). Why are all the black kids sitting together in the cafeteria? Revised edition.
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