5 Chapter 5: Claims and Thesis Statements

This chapter discusses what most people consider the most important line in an essay: the thesis. Basically, a thesis statement is a claim. Thus, this chapter starts by exploring what a claim is and is not.

Claims

Claims are statements that put forth an idea or perspective. They are not opinions or facts, although they might seem closely related. A claim is something that someone could disagree with, so it is not a fact (because a fact is something that just is true or not). But a claim is also something that is backed up by evidence and thoughtful reasoning, so it is not an opinion (because an opinion is just a preference, feeling, or belief).

Examples:

Example #1

• • Fact: Dance music is often upbeat.
  • Opinion: I hate dance music.
  • Claim: Dance music has become popular for reasons that have nothing to do with the quality of the music; rather, the clear, fast beats appeal to the need for people on amphetamines to move.

Example #2

• • Fact: The mayor is a female and was elected on June 6th.
  • Opinion: The mayor is a bad woman.
• Claim: The mayor has continually done the community a disservice by mishandling money, focusing on frivolous causes, and failing to listen to his constituents.

Thesis Statements

A thesis statement is the main claim an essay is focused on. Thesis statements are considered the most important line in an essay because the rest of the essay is focused on building a supportive argument for the thesis statement. We can define some basic necessary criteria of a thesis, and we can explore the criteria that makes a strong, or well-written, thesis.

Basic, necessary criteria: A thesis,

• Needs to be a claim.
• Needs to be an arguable claim (not obviously true).
• Needs to be specific enough that it is manageable for a short essay (no grand sweeping statements that would actually require a whole book to adequately support).
• Needs to be a claim that you can build an argument for through supporting claims backed up by evidence.

Criteria for a well-written thesis: A strong thesis,

• Represents an informed perspective, one arrived at after serious reading and thinking.
• Is a response to a tension, problem, question, or apparent contradiction in the evidence that you think needs to be examined in more depth.
• Requires analysis, evidence, and reasoning for support.
• Adds to the scholarly conversation about your subject in interesting and significant ways; it pushes the conversation in new and interesting directions. For example, it might:
  • Add a new thought, idea or a new way of thinking about your subject
  • Deepen (add depth) to what others have said
  • Complicate an existing perspective
  • Challenge or question an existing perspective
  • Refute or offer a counter-argument for an existing perspective
  • Note a gap or omission in the conversation, something that is not being said or examined
  • Apply what’s being said about your subject to other similar subjects

Weak and Strong Thesis Examples:

A WEAK THESIS makes no claim.

EXAMPLE: This paper will talk about the importance of uncertainty in learning.

PROBLEM: The thesis makes no claim; there is nothing at stake; nothing needs to be resolved.

SOLUTION: Raise specific issues for the essay to explore.

REVISED EXAMPLE: This paper argues that the experience of uncertainty is a vital element to successful learning.

A WEAK THESIS makes an overly broad, simple, or clearly true claim.

EXAMPLE: Formal education has both positive and negative effects.

PROBLEM: The thesis is too simple to be argued with. This just is clearly true.

SOLUTION: Convert broad statements or generic claims to more specific assertions. Find new ways to bring out the complexity of your topic.

REVISED EXAMPLE: The negative effects of formal education are a detriment to many students, and schools should respond by offering more alternative programs and nontraditional opportunities.

A WEAK THESIS reports what others have already argued.

EXAMPLE: When people are only exposed to one story, they will form a rigid and narrow perspective.

PROBLEM: When you repeat somebody else’s argument, you are not adding anything new to the conversation. (This is too close to Adichie’s main point in her TedTalk.)

SOLUTION: Ask “So what?” Why does it matter? For whom? Why should we care? And then construct your own thesis in response.

REVISED EXAMPLE: Since mainstream media tends to offer only one general story line for any given topic, people should seek out alternative perspectives and sources before making judgments.

Revising and Refining Your Thesis

When you write essays, your thesis will probably go through a series of revisions while you draft and revise the essay. It’s good to identify a “working thesis” when you start writing. But don’t feel like you are locked in with that thesis. Just as first drafts of essays are usually pretty bad, first drafts of thesis statements are usually in need of strengthening. While you write, continuously ask yourself, am I supporting my thesis? If not, perhaps you need to cut whatever point you are making, because it isn’t relevant to your thesis. Or, perhaps you need to revise your thesis to reflect your essay.