50 The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, by William Shakespeare

ACT I

SCENE I. Windsor. Before Page’s house

Enter Justice Shallow, Slender and
Sir Hugh Evans.

SHALLOW.
Sir Hugh, persuade me not. I will make a Star Chamber matter of it. If he were
twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

SLENDER.
In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace and Coram.

SHALLOW.
Ay, cousin Slender, and Custalorum.

SLENDER.
Ay, and Ratolorum too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson, who writes
himself “Armigero” in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation—“Armigero.”

SHALLOW.
Ay, that I do, and have done any time these three hundred years.

SLENDER.
All his successors, gone before him hath done’t; and all his ancestors that
come after him may. They may give the dozen white luces in their coat.

SHALLOW.
It is an old coat.

EVANS.
The dozen white louses do become an old coat well. It agrees well, passant. It
is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.

SHALLOW.
The luce is the fresh fish. The salt fish is an old coat.

SLENDER.
I may quarter, coz.

SHALLOW.
You may, by marrying.

EVANS.
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

SHALLOW.
Not a whit.

EVANS.
Yes, py’r Lady. If he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for
yourself, in my simple conjectures. But that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff
have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the Church, and will be glad to
do my benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you.

SHALLOW.
The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.

EVANS.
It is not meet the Council hear a riot. There is no fear of Got in a riot. The
Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a
riot. Take your vizaments in that.

SHALLOW.
Ha! O’ my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.

EVANS.
It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it; and there is also another
device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it. There
is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is pretty
virginity.

SLENDER.
Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman?

EVANS.
It is that fery person for all the ’orld, as just as you will desire, and seven
hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his
death’s-bed—Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!—give, when she is able to
overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles
and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne
Page.

SHALLOW.
Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

EVANS.
Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

SHALLOW.
I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

EVANS.
Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.

SHALLOW.
Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

EVANS.
Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false,
or as I despise one that is not true. The knight Sir John is there, and I
beseech you be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master
Page.

[Knocks.]

What, ho! Got pless your house here!

PAGE.
[Within.] Who’s there?

EVANS.
Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow, and here young
Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow
to your likings.

Enter Page.

PAGE.
I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master
Shallow.

SHALLOW.
Master Page, I am glad to see you, much good do it your good heart! I wished
your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page? And I
thank you always with my heart, la, with my heart.

PAGE.
Sir, I thank you.

SHALLOW.
Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

PAGE.
I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

SLENDER.
How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun on Cotsall.

PAGE.
It could not be judged, sir.

SLENDER.
You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.

SHALLOW.
That he will not. ’Tis your fault; ’tis your fault. ’Tis a good dog.

PAGE.
A cur, sir.

SHALLOW.
Sir, he’s a good dog, and a fair dog, can there be more said? He is good, and
fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?

PAGE.
Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.

EVANS.
It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

SHALLOW.
He hath wronged me, Master Page.

PAGE.
Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

SHALLOW.
If it be confessed, it is not redressed. Is not that so, Master Page? He hath
wronged me, indeed he hath, at a word, he hath. Believe me. Robert Shallow,
esquire, saith he is wronged.

PAGE.
Here comes Sir John.

Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym and
Pistol.

FALSTAFF.
Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me to the King?

SHALLOW.
Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.

FALSTAFF.
But not kissed your keeper’s daughter!

SHALLOW.
Tut, a pin! This shall be answered.

FALSTAFF.
I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now answered.

SHALLOW.
The Council shall know this.

FALSTAFF.
’Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: you’ll be laughed at.

EVANS.
Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.

FALSTAFF.
Good worts? Good cabbage!—Slender, I broke your head. What matter have you
against me?

SLENDER.
Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you, and against your
cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the
tavern and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.

BARDOLPH.
You Banbury cheese!

SLENDER.
Ay, it is no matter.

PISTOL.
How now, Mephostophilus?

SLENDER.
Ay, it is no matter.

NYM.
Slice, I say! Pauca, pauca, slice, that’s my humour.

SLENDER.
Where’s Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?

EVANS.
Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand; there is three umpires in this
matter, as I understand: that is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page;
and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly
and finally, mine host of the Garter.

PAGE.
We three to hear it and end it between them.

EVANS.
Fery goot. I will make a prief of it in my notebook, and we will afterwards
’ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.

FALSTAFF.
Pistol!

PISTOL.
He hears with ears.

EVANS.
The tevil and his tam! What phrase is this, “He hears with ear”? Why, it is
affectations.

FALSTAFF.
Pistol, did you pick Master Slender’s purse?

SLENDER.
Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might never come in mine own great
chamber again else! Of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward
shovel-boards that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yed Miller,
by these gloves.

FALSTAFF.
Is this true, Pistol?

EVANS.
No, it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

PISTOL.
Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!—Sir John and master mine,
I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.—
Word of denial in thy labras here!
Word of denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.

SLENDER.
[Points at Nym.] By these gloves, then, ’twas he.

NYM.
Be avised, sir, and pass good humours. I will say “marry trap with you”, if you
run the nuthook’s humour on me. That is the very note of it.

SLENDER.
By this hat, then, he in the red face had it. For though I cannot remember what
I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.

FALSTAFF.
What say you, Scarlet and John?

BARDOLPH.
Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five
sentences.

EVANS.
It is his “five senses”. Fie, what the ignorance is!

BARDOLPH.
And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and so conclusions passed the
careers.

SLENDER.
Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but ’tis no matter. I’ll ne’er be drunk whilst
I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick. If I be
drunk, I’ll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken
knaves.

EVANS.
So Got ’udge me, that is a virtuous mind.

FALSTAFF.
You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.

Enter Mistress Ford, Mistress Page and her daughter
Anne Page with wine.

PAGE
Nay, daughter, carry the wine in, we’ll drink within.

[Exit Anne Page.]

SLENDER
O heaven, this is Mistress Anne Page.

PAGE.
How now, Mistress Ford?

FALSTAFF.
Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met. By your leave, good
mistress.

[Kisses her.]

PAGE.
Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner.
Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.

[Exeunt all but Slender.]

SLENDER.
I had rather than forty shillings I had my book of Songs and Sonnets
here.

Enter Simple.

How now, Simple, where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have
not the Book of Riddles about you, have you?

SIMPLE.
Book of Riddles? Why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon
Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?

Enter Shallow and
Sir Hugh Evans.

SHALLOW.
Come, coz; come, coz, we stay for you. A word with you, coz. Marry, this, coz:
there is, as ’twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh
here. Do you understand me?

SLENDER.
Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable. If it be so, I shall do that that is
reason.

SHALLOW.
Nay, but understand me.

SLENDER.
So I do, sir.

EVANS.
Give ear to his motions, Master Slender. I will description the matter to you,
if you be capacity of it.

SLENDER.
Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. I pray you pardon me, he’s a Justice
of Peace in his country, simple though I stand here.

EVANS.
But that is not the question. The question is concerning your marriage.

SHALLOW.
Ay, there’s the point, sir.

EVANS.
Marry, is it; the very point of it—to Mistress Anne Page.

SLENDER.
Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.

EVANS.
But can you affection the ’oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or
of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the
mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?

SHALLOW.
Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

SLENDER.
I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.

EVANS.
Nay, Got’s lords and his ladies! You must speak possitable, if you can carry
her your desires towards her.

SHALLOW.
That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?

SLENDER.
I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.

SHALLOW.
Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz. What I do is to pleasure you, coz.
Can you love the maid?

SLENDER.
I will marry her, sir, at your request. But if there be no great love in the
beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are
married and have more occasion to know one another. I hope upon familiarity
will grow more contempt. But if you say “Marry her,” I will marry her. That I
am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

EVANS.
It is a fery discretion answer, save the fall is in the ’ord “dissolutely.” The
’ort is, according to our meaning, “resolutely.” His meaning is good.

SHALLOW.
Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

SLENDER.
Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!

SHALLOW.
Here comes fair Mistress Anne.

Enter Anne Page.

SHALLOW.
Here comes fair Mistress Anne.—Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne.

ANNE.
The dinner is on the table, my father desires your worships’ company.

SHALLOW.
I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.

EVANS.
’Od’s plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.

[Exeunt Shallow and
Sir Hugh Evans.]

ANNE
Will’t please your worship to come in, sir?

SLENDER.
No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.

ANNE.
The dinner attends you, sir.

SLENDER.
I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. [To Simple.] Go, sirrah, for
all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin Shallow.

[Exit Simple.]

A Justice of Peace sometime may be beholding to his friend for a man. I keep
but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead. But what though? Yet I
live like a poor gentleman born.

ANNE.
I may not go in without your worship. They will not sit till you come.

SLENDER.
I’ faith, I’ll eat nothing. I thank you as much as though I did.

ANNE.
I pray you, sir, walk in.

SLENDER.
I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin th’ other day with
playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence—three veneys for a dish of
stewed prunes—and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why
do your dogs bark so? Be there bears i’ the town?

ANNE.
I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

SLENDER.
I love the sport well, but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England.
You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?

ANNE.
Ay, indeed, sir.

SLENDER.
That’s meat and drink to me now. I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and
have taken him by the chain. But, I warrant you, the women have so cried and
shrieked at it that it passed. But women, indeed, cannot abide ’em; they are
very ill-favoured rough things.

Enter Page.

PAGE
Come, gentle Master Slender, come. We stay for you.

SLENDER.
I’ll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.

PAGE.
By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! Come, come.

SLENDER.
Nay, pray you lead the way.

PAGE.
Come on, sir.

SLENDER.
Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.

ANNE.
Not I, sir; pray you keep on.

SLENDER.
Truly, I will not go first; truly, la! I will not do you that wrong.

ANNE.
I pray you, sir.

SLENDER.
I’ll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!

[Exeunt.]

SCENE II. The same

Enter Sir Hugh Evans and
Simple.

EVANS.
Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius’ house which is the way. And there dwells
one Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or
his cook, or his laundry, his washer and his wringer.

SIMPLE.
Well, sir.

EVANS.
Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter. For it is a ’oman that
altogether’s acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page; and the letter is to desire
and require her to solicit your master’s desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray
you be gone. I will make an end of my dinner; there’s pippins and cheese to
come.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn

Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol and
Robin.

FALSTAFF.
Mine host of the Garter!

HOST.
What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.

FALSTAFF.
Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.

HOST.
Discard, bully Hercules; cashier. Let them wag; trot, trot.

FALSTAFF.
I sit at ten pounds a week.

HOST.
Thou’rt an emperor—Caesar, Keiser, and Pheazar. I will entertain Bardolph. He
shall draw, he shall tap. Said I well, bully Hector?

FALSTAFF.
Do so, good mine host.

HOST.
I have spoke, let him follow.—Let me see thee froth and lime. I am at a word,
follow.

[Exit Host.]

FALSTAFF.
Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade. An old cloak makes a new
jerkin; a withered servingman a fresh tapster. Go, adieu.

BARDOLPH.
It is a life that I have desired. I will thrive.

PISTOL.
O base Hungarian wight, wilt thou the spigot wield?

[Exit Bardolph.]

NYM
He was gotten in drink. Is not the humour conceited?

FALSTAFF.
I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox. His thefts were too open. His
filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.

NYM.
The good humour is to steal at a minute’s rest.

PISTOL.
“Convey,” the wise it call. “Steal?” Foh! A fico for the phrase!

FALSTAFF.
Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.

PISTOL.
Why, then, let kibes ensue.

FALSTAFF.
There is no remedy, I must cony-catch, I must shift.

PISTOL.
Young ravens must have food.

FALSTAFF.
Which of you know Ford of this town?

PISTOL.
I ken the wight, he is of substance good.

FALSTAFF.
My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

PISTOL.
Two yards, and more.

FALSTAFF.
No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about, but I am now
about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford’s
wife. I spy entertainment in her. She discourses, she carves, she gives the
leer of invitation. I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the
hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is “I am Sir John
Falstaff’s.”

PISTOL.
He hath studied her will and translated her will—out of honesty into English.

NYM.
The anchor is deep. Will that humour pass?

FALSTAFF.
Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband’s purse. He hath a
legion of angels.

PISTOL.
As many devils entertain, and “To her, boy,” say I.

NYM.
The humour rises; it is good. Humour me the angels.

FALSTAFF.
I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page’s wife, who even
now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious oeillades.
Sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.

PISTOL.
Then did the sun on dunghill shine.

NYM.
I thank thee for that humour.

FALSTAFF.
O, she did so course o’er my exteriors with such a greedy intention that the
appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass. Here’s
another letter to her. She bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all
gold and bounty. I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be exchequers
to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both.
Go, bear thou this letter to Mistress Page;—and thou this to Mistress Ford. We
will thrive, lads, we will thrive.

PISTOL.
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side wear steel? Then Lucifer take all!

NYM.
I will run no base humour. Here, take the humour-letter. I will keep the
’haviour of reputation.

FALSTAFF.
[To Robin.] Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.—
Rogues, hence, avaunt! Vanish like hailstones, go!
Trudge, plod away o’ th’ hoof, seek shelter, pack!
Falstaff will learn the humour of this age:
French thrift, you rogues—myself and skirted page.

[Exeunt Falstaff and
Robin.]

PISTOL
Let vultures gripe thy guts! For gourd and fullam holds,
And high and low beguile the rich and poor.
Tester I’ll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk!

NYM.
I have operations in my head which be humours of revenge.

PISTOL.
Wilt thou revenge?

NYM.
By welkin and her star!

PISTOL.
With wit or steel?

NYM.
With both the humours, I.
I will discuss the humour of this love to Ford.

PISTOL.
And I to Page shall eke unfold
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
And his soft couch defile.

NYM.
My humour shall not cool. I will incense Ford to deal with poison, I will
possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous. That is my
true humour.

PISTOL.
Thou art the Mars of malcontents. I second thee. Troop on.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE IV. A room in Doctor Caius’s house

Enter Mistress Quickly and
Simple.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
What, John Rugby!

Enter Rugby.

I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor
Caius, coming. If he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in the house, here will be
an old abusing of God’s patience and the King’s English.

RUGBY.
I’ll go watch.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of
a sea-coal fire.

[Exit Rugby.]

An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal;
and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breed-bate. His worst fault is that he
is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way, but nobody but has his
fault. But let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is?

SIMPLE.
Ay, for fault of a better.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
And Master Slender’s your master?

SIMPLE.
Ay, forsooth.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife?

SIMPLE.
No, forsooth, he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard, a
Cain-coloured beard.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

SIMPLE.
Ay, forsooth. But he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and
his head. He hath fought with a warrener.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
How say you? O, I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head, as it
were, and strut in his gait?

SIMPLE.
Yes, indeed, does he.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will
do what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish—

Enter Rugby.

RUGBY
Out, alas! Here comes my master.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man, go into this closet.
He will not stay long.

[Simple steps into the closet.]

What, John Rugby! John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master.
I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home.

[Exit Rugby.]

[Sings.] And down, down, adown-a, etc.

Enter Doctor Caius.

CAIUS
Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my
closet une boîtine verte, a box, a green-a box. Do intend vat I speak? A
green-a box.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you.
[Aside.] I am glad he went not in himself. If he had found the young man, he
would have been horn-mad.

CAIUS.
Fe, fe, fe fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais à la cour—la grande
affaire.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Is it this, sir?

CAIUS.
Oui, mette-le au mon pocket. Dépêche, quickly—Vere is dat knave
Rugby?

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
What, John Rugby, John!

Enter Rugby.

RUGBY
Here, sir.

CAIUS.
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come
after my heel to the court.

RUGBY.
’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

CAIUS.
By my trot, I tarry too long. ’Od’s me! Qu’ay j’oublié? Dere is some
simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!

CAIUS.
O diable, diable! Vat is in my closet? Villainy! Larron! [Pulling Simple
out.] Rugby, my rapier!

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Good master, be content.

CAIUS.
Wherefore shall I be content-a?

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
The young man is an honest man.

CAIUS.
What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is no honest man dat shall come
in my closet.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it. He came of an errand
to me from Parson Hugh.

CAIUS.
Vell?

SIMPLE.
Ay, forsooth, to desire her to—

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Peace, I pray you.

CAIUS.
Peace-a your tongue!—Speak-a your tale.

SIMPLE.
To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress
Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and need
not.

CAIUS.
Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, baille me some paper.—Tarry you a little-a
while.

[Writes.]

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
[Aside to Simple.] I am glad he is so quiet. If he had been throughly
moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But
notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can; and the very yea
and the no is, the French doctor, my master—I may call him my master, look you,
for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and
drink, make the beds, and do all myself—

SIMPLE.
[Aside to Mistress Quickly.] ’Tis a great charge to come under one
body’s hand.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
[Aside to Simple.] Are you avised o’ that? You shall find it a great
charge, and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding—to tell you in
your ear, I would have no words of it—my master himself is in love with
Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind. That’s
neither here nor there.

CAIUS.
You jack’nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is a shallenge. I will
cut his troat in de park, and I will teach a scurvy jackanape priest to
meddle or make. You may be gone, it is not good you tarry here.—By gar, I will
cut all his two stones. By gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.

[Exit Simple.]

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.

CAIUS.
It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for
myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of
de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I will myself have Anne Page.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to
prate. What, the good-year!

CAIUS.
Rugby, come to the court with me. [To Mistress Quickly.] By gar, if I
have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door.—Follow my heels,
Rugby.

[Exeunt Caius and
Rugby.]

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
You shall have An—fool’s head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for that.
Never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do, nor can do more
than I do with her, I thank heaven.

FENTON.
[Within.] Who’s within there, ho?

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.

Enter Fenton.

FENTON
How now, good woman? How dost thou?

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.

FENTON.
What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your
friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven for it.

FENTON.
Shall I do any good, think’st thou? Shall I not lose my suit?

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Troth, sir, all is in His hands above. But notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll
be sworn on a book she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?

FENTON.
Yes, marry, have I; what of that?

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good faith, it is such another Nan! But, I detest,
an honest maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour’s talk of that wart. I shall
never laugh but in that maid’s company. But, indeed, she is given too much to
allicholy and musing. But for you—well, go to.

FENTON.
Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s money for thee. Let me have thy
voice in my behalf. If thou seest her before me, commend me.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Will I? I’ faith, that we will! And I will tell your worship more of the wart
the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers.

FENTON.
Well, farewell, I am in great haste now.

MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Farewell to your worship.

[Exit Fenton.]

Truly, an honest gentleman—but Anne loves him not, for I know Anne’s mind as
well as another does. Out upon ’t, what have I forgot?

[Exit.]