With behavior at the core of this chapter, we will use this section to look at teaching social and emotional skills intentionally to support positive behaviors. Remember, we said in the beginning of the chapter that all behavioral intervention is an opportunity to teach. When we teach intentionally, we have a plan and a purpose, and our outcome (result) will be observable. We are approaching this from a teaching perspective (Hoque, 2016), as that matches with our strengths-based focus and moves away from a negative or punishing approach.

Cultural diversity is very evident in the multitude of effective and appropriate ways we as humans care for and guide children. Social settings also require teachers and families to consider how they want to advise their children to act based on their lived experiences and knowledge of what is required to stay safe in specific situations.

Here are some strategies for teaching intentionally and building social and emotional skills in young children (Epstein, 2014; Ho & Funk, 2018):

1. Coaching in real time: When we step into the role of coach it is our goal to help children to see what they are doing, to begin to understand how their actions affect others, and how to choose positive alternatives for the unwanted behavior. An example of this strategy can be seen when 2 children are struggling for the same toy in the block area. One child grabs the toy from another, who in turn cries. As teacher/coach, you would get down to the child’s level to be able to engage fully and establish eye contact. The next step is to calmly and warmly say to the children that, “Michael is using the truck now. When you tried to take it away from him, he got upset. What do you think that you might do to make him feel better?” At this point it is appropriate to model saying “I am sorry that Julie took your truck, Michael,” but we don’t force children to say they are sorry. It would also be appropriate to say “Next time if you want to play with the toy Michael is using, you can ask him if he will share.” The teacher’s role is now to observe and provide positive feedback on the interaction and demonstration of the desired behavior.
2. Giving effective praise: Meaningful feedback is directly related to the behavior in the moment, and is provided in the form of effective praise. This is a powerful strategy for developing children’s social and emotional development (Kostelnik et al., 2015). Effective praise requires teachers to describe specifically what they see—without generalizing, evaluating, or making comparisons. What we want to teach is internal motivation, and not teach the child to always seek validation from others. We can do this by describing what we observe that the child has done:
   • You worked really hard on this drawing. I see many different colors!
   • I see how you stayed in the lines and colored very carefully!
   • You found a great spot for all of the blocks when I asked for you to clean up.
   • Wow! You did it! You put all of the pieces in that puzzle.
   • Thank you for helping Hannah with her building. You showed her how to be a helpful friend.
   • You didn’t give up! You found all of those pieces for the Lego building
3. Modeling appropriate behavior: We know from experience that children learn by observing other people. They use this information to get ideas about appropriate/acceptable behavior, and use the ideas to influence their actions. The strategy of modeling, also referred to as demonstrating appropriate behaviors, gives teachers the opportunity to build and scaffold children’s healthy and positive social and emotional skills. Modeling in a classroom can look like this:
   • Moving closer to children as needed, to provide a visual cue to the behaviors
   • Modeling appropriate caring and respectful behavior with children and colleagues throughout the day
   • Using nonverbal gestures and contact (for example nodding, giving a thumbs up, gently touching a shoulder, gently tugging on your own ear, or pointing to your own eye to send messages
   • Clearly state expectations for behavior (use walking feet, we use gentle hands, chairs are for sitting, blocks are for building)
   • Recognize kind acts of children towards others in the moment
   • Offering effective praise for a group effort
   • Gently touching a child’s hand to redirect attention and behavior

When children see teachers and other adults model these strategies that are non-threatening and do not invade their space, the child’s response is typically a smile, they in turn use their gentle hands, they say please and thank you, give hugs and high fives, and use appropriate words to label their feelings (Katz & McClellan, 1997) .

As adults, we are not simply role models for the children, but we also use the child’s appropriate behaviors to model social and emotional skills for them. You might choose to use puppets during circle time to demonstrate children’s appropriate behaviors to help them use those skills in a meaningful way. You might also use a strategy called “social stories” to teach important social and emotional skills. Social stories are a tool created to help children learn routines, expectations, and appropriate behaviors, and presented in a story format. These stories help children learn in another way while at the same time reinforcing the behaviors that we as adults want to see (Katz & McClellan, 1997).

The Appreciative I-Message conveys positive feelings of appreciation, gratitude, relief or happiness to others (Adams, 2022). Unlike praise which uses labels and judgments, Appreciative I-Messages focus on the person’s behavior and can include the positive effects on you. A word about You-Messages and praise. People often resent positive You-Messages because they feel they are being judged or talked down to.

Appreciative I-Messages are a way of acknowledging others’ contributions (colleagues, families, and children.)

1. “I appreciate that you helped clean up the art area. I felt that you listened and were a great helper”.

2. “I got a lot out of the newsletter article you wrote this month. It really made me think.”

3. “I was impressed by how brave you were with that spider. Let’s scoop it into a cup together and take it outside.”

It is important that Appreciative I-Messages not be used to manipulate or “shape” behavior. Such ulterior motives invariably come through to the team member and make your sincerity suspect. The Appreciative I-Message should be a “no-strings attached” expression of acceptance and acknowledgement.

Classroom Climate

Behavior can be influenced by the classroom environment, beyond the physical layout of the space. Every classroom environment in every program has a climate. This classroom climate includes all aspects of the physical learning space and is influenced by attitudes, teacher tone, interactions between teacher(s) and students as well as students with each other. Classroom climate is also influenced by moods and messages that are shared openly or implied, as well as intentional or unintentional actions.

The relationships built in positive classroom climates support children to feel safe, supported, and valued. The result of this is that the children will participate more freely in taking risks and engaging in deeper learning opportunities through exploration and experimentation. Behaviors in a positive classroom climate tend to be more positive in nature as well.

You can recognize a positive classroom because you will see responsive teachers who manage behavior and attention challenges as well as the social and emotional needs of individual children (Riley et al., 2007).

You can build a positive classroom climate by practicing some of the strategies shared below (Katz & McClellan, 1997).

• Use behavior-approving language in the form of verbal comments or facial expression
  • “I see you are doing a great job sitting on your mat!” Or “Nice work concentrating on your counting”
  • Smiling, nodding, or giving a thumbs-up
• Give specific praise (“Seth, you are really keeping your hands to yourself during circle time. Way to go!”)
• Maintain a positive attitude with the children and with colleagues
• Maintain a positive and pleasant tone and affect (what others see and hear from you)
• Provide frequent opportunities to develop self-regulation skills.
• Model making appropriate choices
• Reinforce children’s appropriate choice-making
• Guide children in developing strategies for themselves

A negative classroom climate has the opposite effect, in that it may feel hostile, uncomfortable, and stressful. The classroom may appear chaotic and out of control. In addition to being an environment that insufficiently supports active learning, a negative classroom climate can also influence unwanted behaviors. In a negative classroom climate, you may also see open examples of inequality, inequitable access to learning opportunities or materials, and obvious stereotypes and biases.

As you work to eliminate a negative classroom environment, it is important to do the following (IRIS Center, n.d.):

• Eliminate damaging forms of behavior management (sarcasm, shaming, threats)
• Eliminate or strictly limit behavior disapproving language
  • Using a child’s name multiple times, such as in “Use walking feet, Johnny!” or “That was not a good choice, Sam.’
  • Using facial expressions such as grimacing, frowning, gesturing, or shaking your head side-to-side.

When children have opportunities to learn in positive classroom climates, with more positive peer interactions, teachers who express a more positive emotional tone, and teachers who positively reinforce behavior, they demonstrate significantly greater social competence and fewer unwanted behaviors(Katz & McClellan, 1997).

Attributions

1. Figure 10.7: Preschool Class Rules by Allison Shelley for EDUimages is released under CC BY-NC 4.0
2. Figure 10.8: Untitled by cherylholt is released under Pixabay License