Identity And Small Effort

People can lead a happy life without fully recognizing their identity. However, we cannot deny that identity is a critical component in shaping a person’s character. Reflecting on my childhood in Korea, I was a confident and active individual. However, upon moving to the U.S., I realized that my character had become more reserved and less confident due to the limitations imposed by my legal status. Nevertheless, I believe the most important aspect of life is the willingness to maintain a positive perspective toward the world. I see my current life as the starting point for proving this belief.

I was raised in Seoul, South Korea, and my parents ran a business. Consequently, my grandmother took care of me and my younger sister most of the time because my parents were busy with their work during the school year. As a result, my memories with them are limited, and they only have time for a vacation in summer, which happened only once a year. I remember being thrilled when the time for the family vacation arrived. We often went camping in a rural area called PyeongChang, which has now been developed and has lost much of its natural beauty. Despite their busy lives and limited breaks due to work commitments, my parents did their best to create lasting memories with us.

During my time in school, particularly in middle school, I was a confident and hardworking student while wanting to look cool. Typically, there were groups based on personalities like hardworking students or students who were interested more other than studying. My character was not perfectly fit in either group. Consequently, I sometimes felt lonely, even though I was technically part of a group. However, my school life holds positive memories for me because it was during that time that I made a lifelong friend. If I’m reflecting on when I was young. I was a positive and confident girl who are like outdoor activities and is willing to be included in the group.

As I think of myself as a middle-aged Asian non-native English-speaking woman, I find myself in a very weak position concerning power or privilege in this society. My husband came here as a student, and I arrived with an F2 Visa, often referred to as a ‘Dead person’ status in the US, which doesn’t allow me to do anything but stay with your student family. Even though I had no complaints about doing nothing, as I was fortunate to have enough wealth for a comfortable shelter, food, and a car, I realized that my stagnant status made my social position weaker over time. Limited interaction with this society also restricted the information and resources I could use and benefit from. The segregation from the core society increased the chances of being judged by my skin color, not my personality, in a neighborhood where most neighbors are white people. The feeling of not being welcomed also affects my willingness to participate in social activities.

After my residence status stabilized as a permanent resident, it doesn’t seem like my social position is improving. I can now study and work with the residential status; however, after 10 years of a blank career, I wonder if I can secure a job. I assume there will be another challenge related to my age and language when I’m ready to apply for a job after graduation. I’m sure there will be a job for me at that time, but I anticipate facing greater difficulty in proving myself compared to the young and native speakers who are also seeking the same jobs as me. But I’d like to focus on the things that I can control for my life rather than the things that are out of my hands. As someone not considered particularly privileged in this community, I believe my efforts to engage with society will serve as a testament, expanding opportunities for immigrants like me. So, I’d like to continue my journey of studying and maintain the belief that the world isn’t as miserable as it may have seemed.

Identity plays a critical role in shaping a person’s character over time as it draws the boundaries of how you can do and move within the specific society. People can be devastated when facing legal restrictions and often they simply accept reality and adapt to the rule, losing their ambition. I believe changing one’s identity is impossible and changing the unfair systematic problem cannot be fixed immediately. However, I also believe that small effort can be a helpful contribution for the next person who follows, consequently this small gesture can make a significant impact over time.